Time Best Forgotten
by MadMooMe
Summary: Have you ever wondered what happened between Miles and Rachel all those years ago. Set after season one and before season two. Crossing the border into Texas, the gang are hauled up in an abandoned house. Bad weather keeps them stranded allowing them to consider the consequences of their actions at the tower and also has them delving in to thier pasts
1. The Rain

**I love the Show Revolution and own no part of it. It's all just for fun.**

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**1 month after the Tower**.

NO! Miles cried in his sleep and abruptly woke himself up. The rain battered down so hard on the ruined house that he prayed no one heard his outburst. It was still dark outside but the day would arrive as soon as the storm passed. The black clouds were the only thing holding back the sunrise. The old sofa that had been his bed for the night was damp and smelt funny but had been marginally better than sleeping on the floor.

He pulled himself wearily into a sitting position, dragging his hands down his face. Miles felt more tired in that moment than he'd felt his entire life. The sudden reoccurring nightmares didn't help the matter. He'd seen some terrible things in his life and caused a fair few of them himself, both pre and post-blackout world, so he couldn't understand why it was now that the nightmares had come.

They were draining him. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Nora. His sweet, beautiful Nora. The women he taken for granted and would never see again. That thought made him sick and so did the dreams. They were always the same, she lay, still and lifeless on the floor with Miles knelt by her side. In the distance the nukes detonated and clouds of radioactive dust fell gently like snow, slowly burying Nora underneath. He was unable to save anyone and all he could do was kneel, immobile on the floor, crying out for it all to stop.

The rain continued and even at such an earlier hour of a new day Miles found himself looking around for his hip flask. Scanning the floor in the half-light his eyes found Rachel standing in the door jamb. It seemed that the downpour wasn't loud enough to stifle his cries after all. She didn't ask if he was ok, or if he wanted to talk about it. Miles didn't know whether that was because she didn't care or because she knew he wouldn't spill his guts to anybody.

Rachel stepped into the room and sat opposite him in a beat-up rocking chair. Miles turned his head away from her. He was tired and rundown and really didn't want to look at the women who did nothing to help save Nora.

He didn't like Rachel very much at that moment. But he liked himself even less for thinking that. Rational thought dictated that he had no right to be angry at a woman who he'd caused so much pain to over the years. He had been responsible for her leaving her husband and two young children. He had tortured her and then left her in the hands of his unhinged best friend and the likes of Strausser. And to top it off he'd been unable to save her son from dying. Rachel had every right to hurt him by any means necessary. But human nature wasn't always rational and Miles was still raw over Nora's death, looking for anyone to blame and Rachel was as good as any.

He managed to drag his eyes in Rachel's direction for a second. His brothers wife was a mess. She had always had a little of that mad scientist thing about her, as though she was on a different plain to everyone else on the planet. The horrors she'd been subjected to over the years had taken their toll, Rachel's mind had pretty much blow a fuse. The woman was so unpredictable it hurt Miles to watch.

What didn't help the situation was that Miles was still in love with her even after everything and he had been since he was 20 years old. It was a different love than he felt for Nora. He and Nora where the same. They were soldiers living for the day, trying to survive some battle, their lives always on the line. It was a passionate love. A love that seemed to celebrate the fact that they were still alive, and it was a good love, he missed her so much.

His love for Rachel was very different, it seemed to be embedded deep within him and nothing would ever shake it. It was as if that love was part of his DNA. Even all those years he spent living in that Chicago bar when he thought she was dead, he still felt the same love for her every single day.

Because all that love was so deep rooted and would never change, it still allowed him to be angry with her on the surface, to dislike her at times. A good example of that was while she sat in front of him in the rocking chair, assessing him across the room. She knew he was grieving over Nora's death, so much so that he was close to breaking down, but she still chose that moment to speak, to say something typically inappropriate.

"Do you remember Harv's?" she asked

Miles just looked at her in disbelief . _How could she ask him about Harv__'__s in that moment. _He closed his eyes tightly and fought to shake away the anger within him.

_Just a few more days and he could hand her off to her father to look after_. He needed time away from them all. He needed time to mourn the loss of Nora. He really wanted that time alone to grieve someone who had been so important to him.


	2. Harv's

**Way back at the beginning **

Harvey Ainsworth owned a bar in a nice little suburb. It had stood for many years and him along with it. Although the building had some official name, to everyone in town it was just know as Harv's. This little bar wasn't a place to socialise with friends after a hard day at the office. It wasn't a place to take a beautiful girl on a first date. 'Pitchers' the sports bar across town was much more suited for that type of thing. Harv's was a place for solitude and serious drinking. It was dark, dank and quiet. No part of the interior, exterior or clientele suggested 'come here for a happy time'.

It was Tuesday night and Harvey poured a whiskey to a young man sat at the bar. He knew who the kid was and knew that he was underage but he was also aware that this kid had just completed a tour in Iraq. It was clear from the look on his face when he walked into the bar that he needed a drink and Harvey obliged.

He watched him swallow down the fiery liquid like he'd been doing it for years. It made Harvey sad to see. It usually took a few more years before the broken walked through his door.

"You here for the night, Kid" Harvey asked

Miles nodded and took another sip of the whiskey and retreated back to some place in his head. He'd been back in town for 2 days and yet to go home. Bass' family had welcomed him on arrival as they always did. The Monroe's was a house with good food and heartfelt embraces. Miles had stayed the night there and was keen to spend a few more but his friend insisted that he should go home and see his own family.

The thought of stepping over the threshold of his own house filled him with dread. His father saw him as a perpetual disappointment and his brother probably wouldn't even notice he was home. It seemed forever since he had seen Ben's eyes, they were always face down 6 inches over a desk, a book or a keyboard. Not his idea of a great homecoming. No wonder he had found his feet turning unconsciously towards Harv's.

He loved them, they were his family and as family you kind of put up with how things were but Miles had changed since he'd joined up. He no longer felt like an insider to this family, he started to see them differently.

Growing up he never found an interest in anything like Ben had. Miles had always been a bit of a slacker. He reached the age when life decisions needed to be made, around the same time of 9/11. With no current direction Miles was caught up in a nation's need to unite and fight to protect themselves and he joined the Marines. Bass who never left his side had joined with him. It was there, belly down in the dry, desert sun of a foreign country Miles finally found his place in the world and discovered what he was good at. How proud would his dad be now to discover that his son's true talents lie in killing people for a living.

He sat in the bar praying that the bottle of whiskey he had been staring at would help him forget his new found talents even if it was just for a while. The third glass had gone down pretty much the same as the first. Tasting goddamn awful, burned on the way down but left a pleasant numbing in it's place. Miles decided he could get used to that.

Some time later, who knew how long, a draught passed by his left side. Someone had just entered the bar. He saw a brightness in his peripheral vision that contrasted against the dim interior of the bar but he made no attempt to move his head away from the dark liquid in the glass in front of him.

The figure stood still for a moment maybe looking for the bartender who had ducked out a few minutes earlier. They eventually sat at a near by table. The noise of dragging chairs, rustling bags and other muffled sounds seemed to go on forever and began to annoy Miles. _Didn__'__t they realise that the joint had library rules. You came in and you shut the hell up. _

Turning on his bar stool to give the intruder a piece of his mind, Miles came face to face with a girl. She didn't look much different in age, maybe even a little younger, far too young to be sat in Harv's. She had blonde hair half way down her back, amazing legs that jutted out from under the table and when she lifted her head to look at him he saw huge blue eyes that twinkled like the sun bouncing off the ocean. He wondered for a moment if the liquor had got to him and she was some hallucination, but after a few minutes of staring he risked it and spoke.

"You're in the wrong place" he stated, something was surely obvious

"I think I know where I'm supposed to be" she replied with an arrogance in her voice. It was instantly clear she didn't like to be told when she was wrong.

"I'm meeting a co-worker and I am quite capable of reading directions" she added.

Miles held up his hands in submission and chuckled to himself at her belief that anyone would want to meet there.

Harvey re emerged from the back and froze as he stared over at the strange girl in his bar. He silently motioned over to Miles a look that asked 'Who the hell is she?' Miles shrugged his shoulders in response. He stood up from the bar, swayed slightly and then found his bearings. He walked over to the girl and stood looking down at her. When she didn't object to him being there Miles sat down on a stool opposite her. His long legs stretching out almost touching hers under the table..

"You want a drink?"

"I have a boyfriend you know" she replied defensively, Miles noticed the nervousness to her response

"Of course you have a boyfriend you are a very beautiful women, but I only asked if you want a drink"

She blushed slightly then, the arrogance she carried momentarily vanished and she scanned the bar for drink options. Harv's didn't really carry much variety, no wines or trendy shooter style drinks. There was Whiskey, Vodka, Rum and Tequila. He didn't often get asked for anything else. She seemed unsure so Miles walked back to the bar and brought her a glass of the whiskey he had been drinking.

He watched her sip it slowly, nearly choking on it's fiery strength.

"So when is this co-worker you're meeting going to arrive?" he asked trying to hold back a smirk.

"He was supposed to be here before I arrived"

"You are _so_ in the wrong place" Miles said again this time unable to hid a full on smile at knowing he was right. She took that moment to look at him strangely, her brow furrowed as though he was a puzzle she was trying to figure out.

"Your smile! It completely changes your whole being" she said. He looked at her confused and made her explain.

"When I walked in here tonight, you looked close to being crushed from the weight on your shoulders, yet when you smiled just now, you look like you haven't a care in the world". The girl stayed staring intensely into his eyes as though she would find the answer there.

It was a strange observation for someone he didn't know to make and it only served to remind him that he had yet to go home and why he was sat in that bar in the first place. The smile quickly disappeared.

"Yeah well I'm a very complicated guy" Miles replied sombrely and took another sip of his whiskey.

She took the hint and started to talk about random topics Miles could not follow. By that time he was well on the way to being drunk and seemed unable to take his eyes off her lips.

"You want to make out?" he asked stopping her mid sentence. She looked at him for a moment considering his offer and then declined

"I don't make out with Jarheads" she said guessing his occupation correctly, from his haircut and general presence. The insult made Miles smile again at the strangers conceited tones.

"Well that's good cause I don't make out with stuck up bitches, I only asked because you look like you want me" he said

"Your delusional" she replied and took another sip from her drink.

He wasn't delusional. Miles had learned a few years earlier that a tall, dark, brooding teenager attracted the ladies like moths flocked to a flame. Getting 'girls' had never been hard for him, and he saw the lust in the blondes eyes just as he had seen many times before. Getting a 'girlfriend' on the other hand was a lot harder. Nobody wanted his sorry ass once the initial good time had been had, even Emma had given up on him in the end.

Again his smile disappeared at the thought of Emma, who had vanished from town with no one really offering an explanation to where she had gone. He momentarily went to some place in his head again and the blonde checked her watch.

"I think it's time I should be leaving" she said starting to collect her belonging from under the table.

Miles tried to think of something to say to make her stay longer but as he glanced down at his own watch he discovered it was well past midnight and they had been sat there for hours.

"I'll walk you out" was all he managed to say.

The fresh air of the outside hit Miles hard and it took him a second to compose himself and fight the spinning desperately trying to hijack his head.

They met with a line of taxi cabs half a mile up the street and that is where they parted. She smiled at him sweetly and thanked him for accompanying her to the cab. Miles took a couple of steps back and watched her start to open the door of the taxi but found himself calling out towards her.

"Hey!, thanks for saving me tonight" he said

The blonde moved back towards him

"Save you from what?" she asked taking another step closer.

"From myself" he answered in a dark and serious tone.

It was then that the girl, this beautiful arrogant, aloof, sexy girl leaned in and kissed him.

It was a short polite kiss, where their lips barely touched but that was all it took. She pulled away slightly but was still close enough that he could feel her breath against his mouth. Her eyes met his and their expressions matched in that moment. Both of them begged the question _'__Did you feel that?_'

Miles had felt an honest-to-God jolt of electricity pass between them the second their lips touched. With them so close he didn't let her get a chance to move further away. He moved his hand around her back, pulled her close and kissed her properly. That jolt turned into a full on current flowing between them and Miles felt her hand wrap around his neck holding him to her.

But it was all too short lived. Everything always comes to an end and so did the kiss. The blonde walked back to the cab and opened the door. She took one last glance at Miles.

"Stay alive, Solider" she whispered then the door closed with her inside and the cab pulled away.


	3. Charlie

**One month after the tower**.

"How can you bring that up now?" Miles said angrily after Rachel asked him about Harv's. The inappropriate timings seem to suddenly register with her and she looked on at him ashamedly.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep so I tried thinking about a….." she stopped, but Miles had known what she was going to say. She was trying to think of a 'happier time'. The fact that she had to go back to the turn of the century to find a happier time was just disheartening, but if he was honest with himself, he'd have probably brought up the same memory.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" he asked

Rachel was quiet for a few minutes as though deciding on a single reason over everything else that had happened. That familiar pout she had revealing her thought process.

"Charlie" she eventually whispered

That name felt like another stab in the stomach of all that Miles had lost. After the tower, Charlie had left them, gone on a walkabout to discover herself. It was one of the hardest things Miles had ever done, to leave her there. Since Chicago he had formed an attachment with that girl to the point where he would happily sacrifice them all, himself and Rachel included in order to save her.

He remembered back to those first few months trekking across country to find poor Danny. She had looked so much like Rachel and half her make-up was Ben. That combination had given Miles his family back, one that was pure, because Charlie didn't know all the pain he had put her parents through.

But it was around the time that Maggie had died that a true bond was formed. She suddenly became his to protect and look after. It was a strange thing to feel, she was not a child but this new world had changed the process of growing up. She had learned to handle herself with weapons and was taught about the dangers that surrounded her. Something you would never want for your child back in the pre-blackout world.

On the other hand, as silly as it seemed, she knew nothing about relationships, nothing about love. She was out there on her own, with all her beauty laying prey to a world of horny guys, She could protect her self against unwanted advances. He had taught her how to hurt someone, hurt someone badly but he was worried about the 'wanted' attention. The only safe sex these days was abstinence and Hell, the Matheson's (perfect boy Ben included) had never been any good at practicing that. With no safe protection around anymore, the dangers of disease and pregnancy where frightening. At least with that 'boy band' kid - Jason, they were both in sight and Miles could bestow physical pain to the boy should he see things go to far, but now she was on her own, out of sight but _very much_ not out of mind.

"You kind of pushed her away, Rachel" Miles said harshly but it was the truth.

He had spend months watching them both interact and almost every time Charlie had reached out to her mother, Rachel seem to hurt her.

She leaned back on the rocking chair hearing it creek loudly while she took Miles' comment on board.

Another hard downpour of rain battered at the house dripping through damaged rafters and broken windows. The noise too distracting to hold a conversation. They both sat there in silence looking anywhere but each other. After a few minutes the rain eased once again and Rachel spoke

"She deserves to hate me"

"What?" Miles looked at her and scowled, he once again had no idea what was going on in that head of hers.

I've let her down all her life, I keep leaving her, I've been so focused on avenging Danny, that I've lost her. I thought…." she paused looking over to Miles and seemed to struggle on what she wanted to say next.

"I thought… at least she had you. You've looked out for her, she's become strong like you, so independent and…hard."

Miles ran his hand over his face again. He couldn't help but notice the traits Charlie had taken on of his. He had seen it before, to Alec and some others he'd trained over the years but none had changed as fast as Charlie had done, he suspected it was because she was a Matheson.

"Yeah well the Matheson's have always been strong minded and stubborn" he answered referring to his brother and father as well as himself.

Rachel quickly avoided eye contact as she nodded in agreement. Then continued with her confession

"So, I think I've had trouble building the bridge between us because I need her to be mad at me, I deserve to feel her anger". Miles sat back and sighed. He couldn't argue with that. He'd understood the guilt she was feeling.

The only people who had got the better of him in a fair fight had been people who had meant something to him, where guilt of what he had put them through was crushing. The fight with Alec, he would surely have let the boy finish him off if it hadn't been for the nuke. Then there was Jim Heron, whose life he'd continued to ruin. He had given up on that fight and let the guy end him but Jason had intervened. He had guilt in spades, so how could he fault Rachel's actions. He looked up at her mournful eyes

"Like you said she is strong and when she comes back you'll get a chance to build those bridges. She loves you Rachel, and it's pretty damn hard to stop caring for someone you've loved all your life…. believe me" he mused.

Rachel smiled a little, grateful of the hope Miles had given her in that moment. She studied him, he really did look tired, he wasn't handling recent events well. And they needed him to be on-form. Just the journey to this run-down house had met with monsters and obstacles that Miles had had to fight to overcome.

She saw a sudden glint in his eye and realised he had just spotted his hip flask.

Miles made a reach for it across the floor and Rachel stopped him.

"Please don't" she begged but Miles ignored her and grabbed for it.

"Miles" she asked again pleadingly and he looked over at her with frustration.

"I need rest Rachel, I'm exhausted and every time I close my eyes I see….", he could even say Nora's name out loud.

"It helps me, the liquor helps me sleep".

Rachel lurched forward and put her hand over the top to stop him pouring it down his throat.

She sat next to him on the sofa. "We need you sober, Miles" she said and he shook his head moving her hand away from the flask.

"Listen, lie down here and close your eyes, I'll stay close and help you when the dreams come" Rachel sat back on the ratty old couch and patted her lap inviting Miles to rest his head there.

He wasn't sure what to do then. She seemed sincere in her offer but the pull of the alcohol was calling him too.

"Just give it a try" she implored and Miles found himself laying out on the sofa and supporting his head across her lap. There was an overwhelming awkwardness between them where Rachel hovered her hand over him wondering where to let it come to rest, but the awkwardness last all of about 3 minutes when Miles let sleep claim him and he felt the warmth from her body radiate around him.


	4. Rachel

**Not sure how well this is going down, but I'm half way through so need to carry on to the end. Thanks for reading.**

**Back at the Beginning:**

"Apparently she's hot" Bass said studying the text messages on his cell phone and smirking between a broken conversation with Miles.

"What" Miles replied with a scowl. He'd been driving the Challenger back into town, his concentration set on locating a knocking sound his beautiful car had started making some 20 miles back and not listening to Bass gossip like a teenage girl.

Bass rolled his eyes at Miles' lack of interest.

"Your brothers girlfriend. She's apparently hot" Bass repeated now looking over at his best friend and the furrow in his brow that always seemed to set deeper the closer to home they got.

"How the hell do you know all this stuff, Bass?" he asked genuinely puzzled at the guy's new found knowledge.

Bass waved his phone at Miles "Angela, has been keeping me updated" he replied referring to his little sister.

"And Angela says that this girl is at your house so often, she's practically moved in"

Miles thought about the comment '_your house__'_. It hadn't been his house for such a long time now. His home seemed to be a Marine Corp Base of one sort or another and that was perfectly fine with him. He fell quiet for a while contemplating his home coming.

"You ok if I come and say hello to your mom first?" Miles eventually asked, Bass gave a wry smile. This was familiar practice for them. Miles would do what ever he could to avoid going to see his own family. Bass nodded and watched as the tiniest bit of stress lifted from his friends face.

By the time the pair pulled up outside the Monroe's house the annoying knocking sound from the car had seemed to have vanished, lifting Miles' mood even more. Bass climbed out first and led the way, arms out wide, smile firmly fixed, hugging his sisters as they met him at the door. There was so much love in that house, it sometimes hurt to watch.

Miles followed his best friend inside and got the same treatment, smiles and hugs from the family, who were happy to see their son and Miles home safe and sound. Bass regaled stories of their recent antics and Mrs Monroe tried forcing food down Miles' throat every 20 minutes .

Two hours later Miles felt the subtle burning stare of Bass across the room. A silent prompt that he needed to go home to his own family and so he made his excuses and headed over to the cold, quiet place he grew up in.

The back door was unlocked and Miles quietly passed through, planning to go straight to his room, dump his bags and lie down for a while recovering from the long drive up. But he heard laughter drift from the living room and the sound was so foreign in that house that he couldn't help but move towards it. Three of them sat together in there talking about something Miles couldn't quite hear but their body language was open and friendly. They hadn't noticed his arrival until his bag dropped to the floor making a thud and causing his father to look in his direction, a rare smile staying on his face as he looked over at his son.

"Hey " Miles called tiredly and Ben stood up and waved him in the room. A smiling father and a brother keen on interacting with him had Miles worried he'd walked into the wrong house but he followed Ben's beckoning arm and stepped through to the lounge.

"Rachel, this is my brother Miles" Ben said as Miles moved towards the couch and watched as a blonde girl stood up to greet him.

She had a nervous smile as she smoothed down her skirt and lifted her eyes to meet his. It was at that point that her cheeks drained of colour and the note of recognition was clear across her face. Miles felt himself become stone like, unable to move or talk or even blink. He couldn't believe it.

Ben, his nerdy brother was dating the girl of his dreams. Literally the girl that he dreamed about. That one perfect kiss all those months ago from the beautiful stranger had kept him company many nights on the base. She was his secret. He hadn't even told Bass about her. Now she was standing in front of him, no longer a fantasy in his head but in real life, with a real name and most upsettingly with a very real boyfriend.

It's….it's nice to meet you" she whispered back so unlike the cocky girl he had met all those months ago. Miles could do nothing but just nod in return.

"Well come on, lets eat, Rachel's made dinner" Ben announced seemingly unaware of the awkwardness between them.

Miles jogged upstairs before the meal to drop off his bags. His old room seemed suddenly to appear a lot more feminine than he remembered.

His stuff was still in place, bedspread, books, Firebird poster on the wall but they were covered in what he presumed was her stuff. Bits of make-up sat on his desk top along with three copies of the same book, clothes leaned over the edge of a chair and he could smell her perfume faintly in the air.

Miles sat on the edge of the bed for a moment trying to take it all in. How did this girl who he'd shared one kiss with have such an affect on him. He'd pretty much spent all his free time since that night with Bass getting drunk and hooking up with random girls. So it wasn't like meeting her had changed his life, he hadn't suddenly wanted to settle down and have kids or anything. She was Ben's girlfriend and had been for many months. He had no right to have any feelings for her and the sooner he got used to that the better.

At dinner Ben told Miles all about his Rachel. How they me at work and hit it off almost straight away. The way he talked about her, it seemed like he was more taken with her scientific work than her as an actual person. Or maybe that was just Miles' jealously seeping through.

"Don't you like the food Miles" he father asked angrily watching his son pick at the meal Rachel had worked hard to make.

"Sorry, I already ate at Bass' house. I didn't think there would be a meal waiting for me here. Frankly I didn't even realise we had a dining table" Miles added genuinely unable to remember the last time they sat together as a family to eat a meal. The heat coming off Mr Matheson's face suggested his was close to throttling his son for embarrassing them all in Rachel's presence.

'"It's fine" Rachel squeaked out, trying to erase any tension in the room before it had time to gather momentum.

Miles ignored her and looked at his watch suddenly relieved at the time.

"Well I said I would meet Bass in town so I see you later" Miles smiled and stood from the table. He couldn't bring himself to look Rachel in the eyes as he thanked her for the meal and headed out of the house as fast as he could.

A text came through as Miles sat on his now usual stool in Harv's. It was from Bass telling him he was running late and would with there in 20 minutes. He swallowed down the whiskey Harvey supplied and he tapped the glass asking for a refill. Miles felt that he had grown up a lot since leaving his home town. He was turning out to be a pretty good Marine. Leaning a lot about who he was and where his talents lay. He was tough, single minded and could make people do what he wanted. He had loyalty simply because he gave people his loyalty. He really felt like he had found somewhere he belonged.

The door of the bar opened and Miles turned expecting to see Bass but Rachel stood in his place. She was a little out of breath and looked ready for an argument as she approached Miles.

"What are you doing here?" Miles asked coldly swallowing down his drink.

"You haven't looked at me all evening. You look angry with me and I don't understand why. I had no idea you were Ben's brother" She throw out all the statements in a single breath worried he'd stop listening to her if she slowed it down.

Miles was trying to force himself to see her as Ben's girlfriend and not as the girl whose lips tasted so good on his own. At that moment he was finding it pretty difficult. She looked good. Her tight t-shirt and short skirt showed off her figure very well and those blue eyes seem to be pulling him ever closer. He shook his head and tried to focus his mind to less selfish thoughts but there was one thing he needed to know, there was a reason he appeared angry back at the house.

"Was he the boyfriend or the co-worker?" he asked and Rachel looked a little puzzled by the question so Miles elaborated

"That night in here you were meeting a co-worker, but you also mentioned you had a boyfriend, which was Ben?" it seemed incredibly important that Miles knew the answer.

"He was the co-worker she replied" and Miles' shoulders seem to ease in the knowledge that he hadn't kissed his brothers girlfriend. But the anger had shifted over to Rachel now.

"Why does that make a difference. You still hit on me that night knowing I _had_ a boyfriend" she snarled. Miles rolled his eyes at her disappointment in him

"Well what can I say Rachel, I'm not a good guy, You were hot and I wanted to sleep with you that night. I didn't care if you had a boyfriend except if it turned out to be my brother. I have double standards, So sue me!".

Rachel's dejected expression was a little too much to take and he tried to make it better.

"Look I'm glad you're here, with Ben. He's a good guy. We're not close, don't really have a lot in common, but he's my brother, he had the same miserable upbringing that I had so it's good to see him happy" he said and saw Rachel blush. It was then that Bass entered the bar in true larger than life fashion. It took him less than a second to make an observation on what he saw in front of him

"Jesus, Miles you could find a women in a monastery. We've been here less than half a day and you've got yourself a girl" he announced looking over at a shell shocked Rachel. Bass held out his hand in introduction

"Hi I'm Bass, his best friend, do you have friends who would like to join us" he said his blue eyes glittering with over-confidence and an obvious need to get laid. Rachel just stood there still shell shocked

"Bass, this is Ben's girlfriend Rachel" Miles said making the introduction. The smile on Bass' face seem to grow to Cheshire grin size before bursting in to laughter forcing Miles to smile with him.

"There is no way this is Ben's girlfriend" Bass said talking to Miles as thought she wasn't even there.

"Why is that so hard to believe?" Rachel addressed Bass with annoyance being the butt of his joke.

Bass looked her up and down admiring her female form and answered

Ben's girlfriends usually have that cute thing going for them, You know glasses, geeky, kind of quirky. You look like you could eat him for breakfast. You don't seem particularly nerdy"

"Spend 10 minutes with her and you'll see she fit's the bill" Miles chimed in, smiling, vaguely remembering the conversation he zoned out of back the night they had kissed.

"Well I think I need to decide for myself" Bass answered inviting her to sit down and once again Miles found he was glad to have Bass around. He eased the tension.

"So why aren't you with Ben right now" Bass asked Rachel seeing it a little strange she was in the most antisocial bar in town.

"He has an early start with work, It can get a little stressful so he needs a full nights sleep, I'm staying at my own place, so that Miles can have his own bed back" she said also answering the question as to why her stuff was all over her room. Although he wasn't sure just how much sleep he would get in a room that smelt of her, but he'd worry about that later.

"Hey, how come you have three copies of the same book?" Miles asked remembering seeing them in his room earlier. Rachel blushed a bit suddenly realising that she hadn't made any effort to tidy up her mess before Miles had seen it.

"Urm, It's….my favourite book. I kind of have this weird need to buy it if I see it somewhere even though I already have a copy." she replied and when she informed them that she had 9 copies in total of the book, Miles looked at his watch and motioned over to Bass.

"Well, you were right Miles" Bass started " it took about 12 minutes and I'm convinced she's weird enough to be Ben's girlfriend.

The evening carried on in similar fashion. A bombardment of questions that Rachel was forced to answer. It was all good natured but most interestingly she saw how much of a different person Miles was in Bass's presence. He smiled, he laughed and he looked happy.


	5. Aaron

**One month after the tower. **

Rachel sat upright on the sofa with Miles' head nestled in her lap. Her hand had finally come to rest lightly on his shoulder and had moved to stroke his hair from time to time when he became agitated in this sleep. Throughout the night Miles had jolted about and nestled into Rachel even closer until his face was buried in her stomach and his arm wrapped around her waist like he was clutching a teddy bear. Miles had ended up pressed so close that Rachel wondered if he could still breath. She didn't mind the closeness because it meant that he was getting some rest. He was finally catching up on sleep and they all needed him at his best.

Her head lolled from time to time as sleep came over her too and stayed that way for a couple of hours until Aaron's footprints creaked across the floorboards and she awoke properly. Aaron stood in the doorway staring at the scene in the living room, not sure what to make of it. To see Miles in such a vulnerable position was strange but after surveying the look on Rachel's face he thought it best not to question it.

He quietly walked into the room and sat opposite Rachel in the creaky rocking chair.

"I couldn't sleep" he whispered and it made Rachel laugh a little.

Arran had fallen asleep shortly after they had arrived at the house and only just woke up now. Rachel would have done anything to have had that much rest, instead of the intermittent napping she had managed, but Aaron looked a wreak so she held her tongue.

"Why not" she whispered back trying not to wake Miles

He sighed and thought about where to start. They had been travelling none stop for a month, always on the look out. Heading straight into one bad situation after another, hiding, fighting and running their way through the country until they found the house. Only then had they been able to take a breath, to stop watching their backs for a moment and have time to rest a little. But with that reprieve brought time to think. Time to consider what had happened and that wasn't such a good thing.

"Set the world on Fire!" Aaron stated quietly. Rachel frowned for a second trying to understand where he was going with that statement.

"That's what Grace said could happen, and guess what, it did. The world had been without power for 15 years Rachel, and in the space of 10 minutes of turning it back on two cities got nuked". he put his head in his hands pulling his fingers through his hair.

The arm that was wrapped around Rachel suddenly tensed at Aaron's words alerting her to the fact that Miles was awake, quietly listening and choosing to stay motionless for the time being. She stroked his hair again then looked over to Aaron who still sat with his head in his hands. Her heart went out to him for a moment. She could sense the guilt that Aaron was feeling.

Rachel had carried around guilt ever since the power went out. All those lives that were lost by something she helped create. Miles too carried similar guilt from his actions with the Monroe Republic. Aaron was one of them now. It didn't matter that it was Randall Flynn that had pushed the button, He simply wouldn't have been able to do it if they hadn't turned the power back on.

Between the three of them, Rachel was sure they could turn the ocean red with all the blood that was on their hands.

The storm seemed to have finally passed and light was returning to the house. It meant that they would soon be back on the road heading into more unknown. And all these thoughts, would once again be put to the back of their minds while they concentrated on the journey. Rachel looked over to Aaron, wondering if there was something she could say to help him, but Rachel's head had never worked that way, she had never been good at reassurance, she didn't like to lie. So instead she said the only thing she could think of.

"We are all in this together now!"

Aaron looked over, thinking about those words for a moment realising their meaning and finally understanding the weight that Rachel and Miles had been carrying around with them. He nodded sombrely and looked over at Miles.

"How's he doing?" he asked Rachel

"He's been better. With losing Nora and Charlie going off on her own, I think he feels he's just lost everyone he loves" she said forgetting Miles was listening until she felt his arm tense around her again, this time pulling her closer against him. Rachel couldn't help wondering what that action meant. Was the strong pull just the grief of loss overwhelming him, or could he have been telling her that he hadn't in fact lost _everyone_ he loves.

Aaron sat quietly for a few minutes staring at the sunlight creeping through the boarded up windows.

"Ok, I'm going to have a look through the house before we leave to see if there's anything useful we can take with us" he said

Rachel smiled kindly and watched him walk back out of the room. Then once again she was alone with Miles who seemed content to stay in his current position. She tipped her head back and closed her eyes. If Miles was comfortable to stay as he was then she could catch a little more rest as well.

Some time later Rachel woke to find that she was no longer sat up on the sofa but led down across it. Miles' coat lay over her like a blanket. She wondered just how 'out of it' she had to have been for Miles to be able to get up and move her into a completely different position without her being aware of it.

Sitting up slowly, the silence of the house suddenly seem to choke Rachel and panic set in wondering if Miles had left on her own and gone.

On the surface the thought that Miles could leave her sounded ridiculous but so had the idea that a man who once told her he loved her, could manage to torture her years later. But all that was a completely other thing that didn't need her delve into right now.

"Aaron!" she called but it came out almost as a whisper. She tried again but louder.

"Aaron!" Now Rachel was on her feet and when she heard a shuffle in the next room she let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"In here Rachel" Aaron's voice drifted though to her. She stumbled through to what was probably once a kitchen. Aaron sat at the debris covered table eating some fruit. They were pretty low on food, The supplies they had managed to collect in Colorado had all but gone and hunting and cooking fresh meat would have meant smoke and Miles had been pretty firm that a fire wasn't a safe option at the moment. So they were down to fruit they had found in an old orchard a while back and a small piece of cured meat, that was so salty, it was hard to get down.

"There's not a great lot here of any use but I didn't expect there would be" Aaron said seeming a lot more up beat than he had been earlier, it made Rachel wonder how long she had been asleep for that allowed for his mood to change so much.

"Miles?" she asked and Aaron pointed up, indicating that he was upstairs.

"There's a room upstairs full of books, I think that's where he is" Aaron added taking another juicy bite of the fruit and closing his eyes savouring the sweet taste.

Rachel found the room of books. Along each wall sat columns of stacked books. Different heights with no particular order to them. If she squinted at them they kind of looked like a city skyline of skyscrapers. She picked up a paperback that sat on top of the nearest pile. Water damaged and worn, Rachel could still make out the title 'The Man in the High Castle' a sci-fi classic. After flicking through the pages for a few moments, she caught sight of Miles in the far corner.

He was crouched low searching through the stacks. looking for map books or something else useful when he suddenly stopped. Rachel watched as his head and shoulder slumped forward.

"Miles, what's wrong?" she called, concern in her voice

He turned and looked into her eyes holding a book aloft. She stepped forward and took it from him. His stare appeared distressed as she held it up to read the spine. As the title sunk in, a lump formed in her throat. It was her favourite book. The one she once had multiple copies of. That book had meant everything to her while she was growing up. But she had left it behind along with the cell phone's, TV's and Ipad's when the black-out happened, opting instead for survival.

She held it against her heart still staring down at Miles, very aware that the book was also the start of everything that had happened between them.


	6. The Book

**Somewhere near the beginning. 21-ish years before the dark tower**

Rachel threw her pen so hard it ricochet off the wall in front of the desk and landed over by the pile of 'Clash' CD's on the other side of the room. Her head fell to her hands and she worked hard to not cry.

She was supposed to be studying for finals and all she could think about was Ben. Three years they had been together and it had been a pretty good three years. But the last few months had been hard. Her own arrogance had made her believe that the work she did with Ben on the project was important but it wasn't until Ben had been taken on full time after he'd graduated that she realised just how insignificant she was.

As under grads they had been in a very privileged position on the team but it turned out they were little more than office dogs bodies. After Ben had graduated he got to see behind the curtain and that's when things had changed.

Ben had become more secretive, keeping information from her. He seemed to be at work all hours and when he was at home he was stressed and tense. Some nights Rachel awoke in Ben's bed to find him gone, often not sure if he had left for work early or never made it to bed in the first place.

At some point it had to get better. That's what she told herself and it was that thought that kept her going. Rachel went to retrieve the pen and heard her phone ring. It was Miles. He'd developed a habit of ringing Rachel rather than his father or Ben when calling home. She should have told him it wasn't appropriate but she hadn't.

"Hi" she answered the call, feeling an involuntary blush the second he returned the greeting.

Rachel hated that she had no control of her body when Miles called. She needed to rationalise the attraction she felt for him. She told herself it was all superficial, Miles Matheson fitted into one of those fantasy guys. Like the hunky fire fighter or the handsome doctor. He played the role of the brooding bad boy. That's all he was to her, a fantasy. Except… that she had once actually kissed him….and it was good.

She tore herself away from those thoughts and listened to why he was ringing.

"I'm coming home for a few days" he said

"Why" she replied

Jeez Rach, you're excitement over my homecoming is very touching" he sarcastically replied but Rachel didn't bite.

"Bass wanted to come back for Cynthia's birthday and I thought I would tag along, is that ok with you?" he said but the cogs in Rachel's head were working overtime.

Bass didn't usually make it home for birthdays, unless they were mile-stone ones. He always planned leave at more or less the same time each year. He came home for his parents anniversary. It fell the month between his two sisters birthdays and that way he could kill 3 birds with one stone.

Rachel could sense the real reason, she thought she could hear it in Miles' voice. They were shipping back out. They were coming home to see their families before returning for another tour in Iraq or even Afghanistan. Her head throbbed. It was all she needed. On top of worrying about Ben and her exams, she now had to add Miles' safety to the list. Barely a day went by without the news reporting on deaths of servicemen in those countries.

"Don't eat at Bass's, I'll cook dinner" she said and Miles sighed on the other end of the phone

"Well, it's been great talking with you Rach" sarcasm still heavy on his tongue.

"I'll see you all in a few days". he ended the call and Rachel looked back down at her books. She closed them. There was no way she could study now.

* * *

As Rachel exited the market in town, she saw Bass coming out of the post office. She shouted and called him over, watching the womanizing smile of his fix across his face.

"Rachel, you look beautiful as ever" he said

She rolled her eyes "don't waste you're energies on me, Bass, there's no point.

His grin didn't falter as his arm wrapped around her shoulder and pulled her close.

" Nonsense lets see if we can make Ben jealous" he replied and Rachel gave him a distant smile, thinking that would actually require Ben to notice that she wasn't around in the first place.

"I thought you weren't arriving in town till tomorrow" she stated, thinking back to that last conversation she'd had with Miles. Bass explained he managed to get away earlier than his best friend.

"Come on, lets go get a drink" Bass said pulling her down the street with him to a little bistro with tables outside.

"Don't you think it's a little early to start drinking" she said

"Well, you know how the saying goes" he replied leaving Rachel looking on clueless.

"It's always 5 o'clock somewhere" he said with exasperation, "God Rachel, you nerds really need to get out more"

They sat out on a small table by the sidewalk and looked on at all the townsfolk who walked by. They slowly sipped wine while Bass made observations about the people he's known all his life. Rachel noticed then, just how different from Miles he was and wondered how they ever became friends.

"How are you and Miles so close?" she asked.

Bass' smile disappeared for a moment and those big eyes of his suddenly appeared a lot darker. His bond with Miles had been the butt of many a joke over the years, but Rachel was almost family now, or that's how Miles saw her so he indulged her just a little.

"He needs me to keep him from making stupid decisions like getting in fights he can't win or drinking himself to death. He's not like the rest of us Rachel, his head is wired differently." Bass told her and Rachel sensed that was an over simplification of his issues and he wasn't going to expand.

"OK, so what do you get out of the relationship" she asked noting that he had just basically told her he was Miles' babysitter.

"He helps me get laid" Bass replied, his eyes returning to that bright mischievous blue.

Rachel laughed

"Seriously though, he has always been there for me, always. Any time I've needed help, he has come through" Bass took a sip of the wine and added thoughtfully.

"We kind of need each other".

Rachel could tell he'd never said that out loud before.

They sat there a while longer just taking in the warm air when Rachel asked another question

"You're going back to Iraq aren't you?"

Bass screwed up his eyes and shook his head.

"Not talking about any of that today Rachel" he insisted, the topic obviously causing him some distress.

That reaction was confirmation enough that they were going off to war again. The mood seemed to change after that, for both of them and it wasn't long before they called it a day and headed home.

* * *

Miles arrived home right in the middle of Rachel making dinner. She heard his voice mix with Ben's and his fathers from the living room. The Matheson's didn't do welcome home hugs, or 'I've missed you's' but they had come a long way in the three years since she had been around.

She sat opposite Miles at the dinner table. It had been so long since they had last seen him that she couldn't fail to notice the change in him. He had lost that youthfulness in his face, he'd filled out a bit too. Miles no longer looked like a boy.

Dinner conversation remained light but Miles kept looking between her and Ben, he sensed that things weren't right and it seemed to trouble him a little. It didn't help matters when Ben announced he had to go into work. Rachel felt deflated, Miles' homecoming had been the longest time they had spent together in days, and now she would end the night alone, again. She swallowed down a gulp of wine and tried to hold in her frustrations.

Sometime towards the end of the meal Miles pulled a bag on to the table and took out a bottle of single malt and placed it in front of his father, who just looked back stunned at receiving a gift from his son. Then he placed a bag of candy in front of his brother. Ben smiled as he opened the bag to see his favourite candies from childhood, some that where hard to come by these days. Miles had noticed them a while back at an old-fashioned candy store near where he was stationed. Then he passed a book over to Rachel.

"What is it?" Ben asked looking intrigued

"It's a copy of Jane Eyre" Rachel told him and he rolled his eyes at her getting yet another copy of her favourite book.

"Did I get the right one?, it was confusing. There was an Emily Bronte and Charlotte Bronte but I seem to remember there was a Jane somewhere in there, so I picked that one up" Miles said like it was no big deal.

Rachel nodded and opened the cover. She knew instantly that is _was_ a big deal. He hadn't just come across this book. He'd searched of it. It was an old copy. The print date said 1921 and it was published in England, something none of her other copies had been. The pages were thin and she delicately turned them over to see the tiny writing.

Rachel had once rambled on about the qualities of the book she now had in her hands. It turned out Miles had listened and remembered. She looked over at him and found that he was avoiding her eye contact, but she couldn't seem to look away.

_Damn You, Miles Matheson! _She said to herself. Why did he have to choose now, when she was feeling so low and stressed and worried about every aspect of her life, to be a knight in shining armour.

Ben announced his departure, stood up from the table and kissed Rachel on the top of the head and then left without a second glance. She only realised 2 chapters into the book that Miles had left with him and she was sat alone at the dining table.

Mr Matheson had sat in front of the TV and Rachel considered joining him but her mind was on the book and before she knew it her feet had carried her out of the house and through town towards Harv's.

With the book held to her chest Rachel walked in the bar and over to where Miles was sat. He had that all too familiar gloomy expression, his hair had grown out a little and she could see toned muscle across his back and shoulders as he leaned over that glass of whiskey.

She felt her temperature rise as she moved closer and he turned to face her.

"Rachel" He acknowledged her presence with his usual impassive tone. _Did nothing surprise him_ she wondered. She stood there in silence not sure why she had come and Miles looked on waiting for her to speak

"Is there something you need, Rachel?" he asked quietly when she didn't seem forth coming. The word '_need__'_ seem to float around her head for a moment until she found her voice.

"You gave me the book, I _needed_ the book" she answered her words barely above a whisper, Miles shooed his hand as though it was nothing.

It was at that moment Rachel was sure someone pushed her from behind because she had fallen into his arms pressing her lips to his.

The taste of him was almost too much to take and brought back the memory of their first kiss all those years ago. The one that she had never really forgotten. She felt his arms wrap around her but she desperately wanted him to see sense and push her away simply because she didn't have it in her to do it herself.

But he didn't and instead she just felt herself fall deeper into him.


	7. The First Time

**Somewhere near the beginning - 21 years before the dark tower**

Miles was deep in the feel of Rachel's mouth against his own. After a minute of tasting her soft lips and catching the floral scent of her hair, his brain had kicked in telling him that it was wrong. He was making-out with his brother's girlfriend and it was wrong.

He should push Rachel away and tell her that he wasn't interested in her like that, but that would have been plain lying. He was pretty sure she knew how he felt about her, how much he wanted her. Hell, they were pressed so tightly together she would literally be able to 'feel' how badly he wanted her.

In that moment Miles realised two things about himself. Firstly he was weak. He had never really seen himself as a weak person but this girl made him feel powerless. Secondly he was selfish. Now, that was something he had always known about himself. But, being selfish and weak at the same time was never going to result in sensible decision-making.

The kiss broke apart but Miles couldn't quite bring himself to let go of her, so he pulled back just slightly and found himself looking at the beautiful girl that he couldn't stop thinking about. Her eyelids were low and her breathing laboured as she continued to grip at Miles' shirt. That just made him want her even more.

A kiss, even though wrong, could be cast off as a stupid mistake, a moments transgression that would never be repeated. Alcohol, emotional state, anything could be used to explain away the one-off lapse in judgement. What was about to happened next, there was no coming back from.

Miles slowly stood up from the bar stool and held out his hand to Rachel. She took it and he began to step backwards, Rachel followed giving no resistance.

Before he was even aware he had done it, Miles had pulled Rachel out of the back door of the bar, in to the tiny walled enclosure behind it. The small yard was dark, the only illumination coming from the street light across the road. He looked down at her for a moment then wrapped one arm around her middle, the other around her thigh and lifted her up high where Rachel automatically wrapped her legs around his waist.

That consent was all Miles needed, there was no turning back at that point and he pushed her to the wall right next to a bottle dumpster, set on showing her exactly how he felt. It was a far cry from 'making love' but it still felt pretty damn good. Rachel had moaned his name softly in his ear, a sound so amazing Miles would remember it forever.

He kissed Rachel slowly across her shoulder and down her neck as her hands ran through his hair, and when it came to an end, Miles couldn't bring him self to move away, so he remained pressed tightly against her while they just embraced.

It was surely a one time deal and he wasn't going to let it end so quickly. Miles kissed her again, felt her hands move across his back and heard her moan again as he pressed closer into her.

The back door creaked open slightly admitting a voice into the dark void of the yard, ending their little fantasy.

"Hey Kid, your boyfriends here" Harv stated then disappeared while the door swung shut.

Hearing those words brought them soberly back to reality, 'Boyfriend, Here'. _Was Ben in the bar?_ He felt Rachel begin to shake in his arms or was it him that was doing the shaking. _What had they done_. Neither of them could move, they just stayed frozen hoping the dark night would cloud over them leaving them invisible.

It took Miles a few seconds for the words to fully register, all the time Rachel was slowly beginning to freak out. It was then he let out a breath he'd been holding.

"It's Bass" he said, a small smile of relief on his face. Rachel looked at him puzzled

"Harvey was speaking to me, he was telling me Bass is here" Miles added this time feeling a lot more confident that he was correct in his thinking.

He saw a tear escape Rachel's eye, a mixture of relief and guilt. Their time together had come to an end. He lowered her back down until Rachel's feet stood on the ground and helped straighten out her clothing. There was silence between them, neither quite knowing what should be said in that moment. Rachel walked over to the far gate that opened onto a back street but had to wait for Miles to unlock the bolt as it was half rusted shut.

The gate stiffly opened and Rachel passed though ready to leave him there in the cool night air.

"Rachel" he called after her and she turned towards him, her eyes now filled with tears.

"I…I read the book, Jane Eyre I mean" he said and she looked up at him then, a little taken aback

"I wanted to see what it took for something to become so special to you" he added .

Rachel smiled sadly at that comment

"So what did you think?" she asked

"Well, I got to be honest, it wasn't really my kind of thing. I'm more of a Ender's Game or 1984 type of person, but it was better than I thought it would be" he said and Rachel seemed to display a more warm smile at his approval of her favourite story.

"I excepted one of those stories where the only problem the heroine had was finding a husband, but it was more than that. Little Jane had a bit of a rough time growing up. It kind of made you put things in perspective" Miles added.

"I hope Bass didn't catch you reading it" Rachel said imaging the fun Bass would have with that one.

"I hid it inside a comic book" Miles replied smiling back at her.

Rachel stepped forward and placed her hand on Miles' cheek of a second looking deep into his eyes.

"You look after yourself out there, and come home safe" she said, letting him know she knew he was heading back to war. Then she turned and walked away.

Miles watched her walk off into the distance thinking about how her last words were so similar to those she said the first night they met. He took a few deep breaths, composed himself and walked back into the bar.

Harvey caught his eye before he reached Bass. Miles followed where he motioned and he saw Rachel's book behind the bar. She had left it on the counter top and Harvey moved it out of the way when Bass had come in. Miles quickly nodded in gratitude and went on to greet his friend.

"Where the Hell have you been?" Bass called

Miles sat down where he had begun the evening and looked over at his best friend. The guy that he had no secrets from.

"I just needed a bit of fresh air" he answered as he gulped down the glass of whiskey Bass had ordered for him.


	8. The Party

**Somewhere near the beginning - 21 years before the dark tower**

The rhythmic boom of music carried halfway down the block. It was just a matter of time before the police closed down the party. Don Franco's quiet house-warming had turned into a rager. He started the night trying to stop the uninvited guests setting up in his home but it wasn't long before he had to accept that by morning the house would be trashed.

Somewhere inside among the packed bodies was Ben quietly smirking in satisfaction like some cartoon villain. All he needed was a long thin moustache to twirl and the look would be complete. Ben had always thought that Don Franco was a dick, and the dozen-or-so well timed text messages he had sent seemed to have paid off. Half the town turned up for the party.

There were people in the house that Ben hadn't seen since high school. He heard a crash, something smashed on the floor, maybe an expensive vase or bottle of red wine that was currently spilling over a new rug. Ben took a gulp of beer from his big red cup trying to hide the ever-growing smile on his face. He knew he was being petty and childish. He was in his mid twenties getting revenge for something Don had done over 10 years ago but he didn't care.

Linda Franco, Don's little sister and Ben's first real girlfriend emerged through the crowd. She was a little thing. Dark brown hair that bounced just above her shoulders, glasses, tight T-shirt with Yoda on it, short skirt and converse on her feet. She was what Bass had previously described as Ben's 'type'. She smiled at him and walked over.

"You did all this didn't you?" she mock accused finding the whole thing amusing. Ben's silence only served to confirm that it was him who had filled his enemy's house with unwanted drunkards.

"He's going to kill you, Ben" she said sidling a little closer to him and Ben handed her a bottled beer from the counter he was leaning against.

"He'll have to find me first" Ben replied looking down at her suddenly remembering all those good times they had spent together as teenagers up to the point Don didn't want his little sister dating a Matheson and did everything in his power to split them up, successfully.

They talked for a while, the Matheson charm emerging, showing the similarities between the two brothers. He couldn't deny that he still liked her, If everything had gone down differently all those years ago they might still have been together. The way she was looking at him, Ben wondered if she still liked him too.

But things tended to happen in life that send you off into different directions. If Don Franco hadn't been such a douche all those years ago then Ben may never have met Rachel. Ben and Rachel have their ups and downs from time to time but they were well suited. Both seemed to work best when they were together.

"So where's your girlfriend" Linda asked the smallest amount of hope in her voice that Ben may have said it was all over.

"Rachel's here somewhere. Dancing out the back last time I saw her" he replied watching the smile lessen ever so slightly on Linda's face. Ben sensed the awkwardness and changed the subject.

* * *

The back yard was being used as a dance floor. The area was crammed with bodies. Rachel was somewhere in the middle bouncing around to the beat of the music. It had seemed like forever since she'd had that much fun, or that much alcohol. She was pretty wasted and didn't care one bit. Life had started improving, getting back on track and she had wanted to celebrate.

After the pressured previous months, Rachel had finally graduated, got a full time job and was on good terms with Ben. The party had been the first opportunity to let off steam.

She'd been dancing , her hair flowing in every direction when her eyes thought they saw something. It was hard to be sure because her focusing ability after all the alcohol was less than great. She made an effort to stand still and looked through the bouncing crowd. There in the distance, inside the house she saw the unmistakable curls of Bass.

Sebastian Monroe was stood chatting to a couple of girls, who were quite possibly still in high school. As he lifted his beer bottle to take a sip he felt the full weight of a blonde women wrap her arms around him. It took him a minute to work out who it was while trying to stay upright from the force she had come at him.

"Hey Rachel, it's good to see you" he laughed as he peeled her away off him. She looked up and saw that famous smile, but something was different. That smile that won over hearts was the same as always, but it didn't quite manage to reach his eyes. Even in Rachel's drunk state she could see he was not quite the same as last time they had met.

"How long have you been back?" Rachel asked, conscious that she hadn't seen him in what had felt like the longest time.

"About 2 hours" he answered while giving Rachel another hug. "We saw the party as we drove through town. Haven't even been home yet"

Rachel gave a reserved smile, the only word that she had heard from Bass' mouth was 'We'. And like everyone in town knew, where there was one, the other wasn't far behind.

"So where's Miles?" Rachel asked whilst craning her head to search through the bodies. It didn't take long to find him. At least she thought it was him. It was hard to tell when he had some girl wrapped around him.

Bass continued speaking but Rachel couldn't hear. The image of Miles with his hands all over some random girl was having a strange effect on her. The alcohol swam around her head causing it to thump fiercely and before she knew it, Rachel was across the room pulling the girl off Miles.

As soon as they were parted the realisation of her actions thumped harder across her head than the alcohol had done.

"What the Hell, Rachel?" Miles yelled while straightening out his t-shirt from where the girl had pulled it half-way up his back.

Rachel stumbled whilst trying to think of a way to explain her actions while also noticing a confused looking Bass walk over in her peripheral vision. Miles grabbed her by the arm to steady her before she nose dived to the floor.

"How drunk are you?" he asked with a great deal of annoyance across his face.

She looked quickly at the girl who seemed ready to thump her and then back at Miles, anger starting to bubble up within her.

"It's nice to know you're still alive Miles, thank God for Bass' mom. Without her updates we would have thought you were dead" her words seem to be spilling out uncontrollably with the occasional slurred word.

"You've been gone for over half a year, could you not even just once manage to phone your family and let us know you were okay" she finished glancing again at the girl Miles had kissed noticing that she was still standing there, a look of impending violence etched on her face.

Miles pulled Rachel's face back around to face him, fuming at the growing audience they had manage to generate. He noted how Rachel had inserted herself as a member of his family during her little rant and it had irritated him.

"Well It's none of your business Rachel, you are _not _my family, you're just some girl Ben's sleeping with" he viciously retorted causing Rachel to step back as though his words had physically hurt her. The unsteady step back had also managed to make her bump into the girl Miles had kissed, who retaliated by pushing her back, powerfully.

The girl was Coleen Hill. Long legs, beautiful shiny raven hair and also, as hard as nails. People in town generally didn't mess with Coleen, Ever.

Miles missed what happened next as he'd turned to speak to Bass but when raised voices and a series of smashing could be heard, he turned back round to see Coleen throw Rachel against the wall.

"Oh great, that's all I need, help me calm them down Bass" Miles said in his usual mildly irritated tone.

Miles made a grab for Coleen, who stood looking pleased with herself but before he could get purchase on her, Rachel ran forward and punched Coleen in the face. It wasn't a girly slap, or some eye-scratching nails attack. It was a full-on, made to hurt. punch in the face. Coleen swiftly went down to the floor, Rachel pulling out of Bass's grasp to lean over her spoke in a menacing tone

"You, do not mess with me"

Miles was taken aback by Rachel's reaction as he escorted Coleen outside and helped her get home. It was a side of her he had never seen before and didn't know existed. He should have been disgusted by her behaviour but instead it just made her all the more sexy.

He returned just a short time later to see Ben checking that Rachel was ok whist she was being held up by Bass. Miles hadn't even realised his brother was there and before he had chance to greet Ben, 'Douche-bag Don' had got in the way.

He could hear Don threatening his brother. Accusing him of bringing all the people to the house. Ben was smiling not denying any of it, which in turn made Don red in the face. Miles knew his brother and could see that Ben was pretty drunk, listening to Don threaten to kick his ass in front of a room full of people. He could also tell that Ben was weighing up his options.

The normal 'Ben' type of response was a peaceful one, try to defuse the situation before it got out of hand. He'd never been much of a fighter, but he was a Matheson and Matheson's didn't always think before acting, especially when they were drunk. There were few people Ben disliked more than Don Franco and Miles watched as his brother took advantage of Don ranting to the crowd and threw the first punch. It was a good hit and served to shut Don up, but it didn't really have enough weight behind it , so it didn't take long for Don to respond.

Rachel was on the verge of passing out, she hung on to Bass like her life depended on it and could only watch as Ben was about to take a beating. She could see Miles stood by, arms folded watching the action. He had a strange look in his eyes and a tight smile across his lips. The image of him was a little disturbing.

Don, who was a much bigger man than Ben hit him in the stomach, once, twice, forcing Ben to double over. Then Rachel watched as Miles stepped forward, the thin smile widening on his face as though it was a wrestling match and he'd just been tagged in. Miles head butted Don and then all hell broke loose.

Rachel didn't see any more as Bass had moved to grab hold of Ben and pulled them both out of the house as fast as he could.

* * *

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, Miles awoke, momentarily disoriented then realising by the size of the bed he lay on, that he was in his childhood bedroom, the one that was gradually being turned into Rachel's study. He sat up bleary eyed and could hear a noise that took him a few moments to recognise.

He climbed out of bed and walked through to dark and otherwise quiet hallway towards the noise that was emanating from the bathroom. Opening the door slowly and shading his eyes from the bright lights he saw Rachel hugging the toilet bowl. Her eyes were red and complexion almost grey. She heaved again into the bowl and seemed to take all her energy to turn her head and see Miles stood in the doorway.

"Oh God Miles, your killing me here" she said looking up at the 6ft man standing in nothing but his boxer shorts, his toned and lean physique looming over her.

Miles still half asleep hadn't realised he lacked in clothing and was too tired to care less about it.

"Where's Ben, why's he not here helping you out?" there seemed to be no sympathy for her hung-over condition at that time in the morning.

"Passed out in bed, easier to wake the dead" she answered struggling to get the words out without throwing up again.

"Is he ok?" he asked while grabbing a glass from the bathroom counter, filling it with water and passing it over to Rachel

"B…Br…." she had to pause to lean once again over the bowl

"Bruised ribs, that's all" she eventually managed to finish saying.

"Aren't you concerned about me?" she asked tilting her head back against the cold tiles of the wall and closing her eyes feeling the spinning subsiding a little. Miles snorted at that thought, thinking back to seeing her 'floor' Coleen.

"Nope" he replied not expanding on his response.

Miles then stood there looking down at her sorry state trying not to feel anything and failing. He wanted to concentrate on the fact that he could smell the vomit through-out the bathroom and not about how she was sitting there in a tiny vest and shorts showing off huge amounts of beautiful smooth skin. She looked a mess and he still wanted her.

He sat next to her on the floor and moved her hair away from her face.

"I'm sorry I didn't phone" he said, reflecting back to the start of their conversation at the party. It had been a hard tour of duty and hearing the voice of the woman he wanted and couldn't have on the other end of a phone call would have been too much to bare.

"I'm really glad you are home safe" was all she could manage to respond with before she fell asleep wedged between the toilet bowl and the wall.


	9. The City

This is the penultimate chapter, hope you like it. It was a story to fit between the seasons and season 2 is quickly approaching so it needs to get finished**. **

* * *

**Somewhere near the beginning - 21 years before the dark tower**

After the events at the party, Rachel felt inclined to keep a low profile. She had recovered from her early morning toilet hugging but after being greeted by both Matheson brothers at breakfast, Rachel decided that she would spend the day down at her tiny apartment on the edge of town.

She more or less lived at Ben's house and really should have given her place up but for some reason she hadn't and it was days like this she was glad. It was quiet and peaceful and most importantly didn't have the two people she was in love with sat next to each other comparing injuries from the party. That had been too much to take so she made her excuses and left.

Rachel lay on the sofa, listening to music whilst reading a book. After drifting in and out of sleep a few times she looked at her watch and couldn't believe it was late afternoon. Placing the open book face down, Rachel got up and searched for her phone to let Ben know she would be home soon. Before the call was made, there was a knock at the door.

The wrapping sound had caused Rachel to jump. Not many people knew she had the apartment so she had no clue who it would be. Cautiously walking to the door she opened it. There, leaning against the frame was Miles.

"You alone?" he asked, a serious expression spread across his face.

Rachel studied him for a moment. He towered over her, those dark brown eyes staring right inside her soul. She had known him over three years but he still managed to make heat race through her body every time she saw him. Her mind wandered momentarily thinking about him standing in the bathroom in just his underwear and she felt her temperature rise.

Her thoughts had become distracting and she couldn't remember what he had just asked her. _Was she alone?_. 'That was it'

The very short reply of '_Yes_' had barely left her lips when Miles grabbed the front of her shirt and pulled her into an embrace. The feel of his lips, hot against her own sent shock waves deep down within her and Rachel melted into his hold.

Her arms snaked around his neck and drew him inside the apartment letting him kick the door closed behind him. Rachel bit softly on his lower lip which brought a lust filled curse from his mouth. In return she felt Miles grind himself against her making her breath hitch. A very short time later they were half led across the sofa having not made it to the bedroom. They were so close that she could smell this old room/her study on him, and it smelt amazing.

Everything was hurried and desperate, as though they were both worried someone would discover them at any moment. They didn't make conversation or talk at all and when it was all over there was no cuddling or declarations of love. Miles just stood up and got dressed.

Rachel remained on the sofa, getting every glimpse possible of that body before it was covered back up. She noticed he had that look again, the one where he seemed to have a world of problems circling his head.

"Are you ok?" she asked and Miles flashed her a devilish grin

"Err, after what you just did to me, I'm better than ok" he replied, pulling on his jacket

Rachel blushed

"No, I mean you and Bass last night at the party looked like you had other things on your mind." she said

They did have other things on their mind. Stuff had occurred on their tour of duty that was hard to forget. Each experience effected the friends differently, Miles had formed amour around himself stopping anything getting to him, while Bass just let it all in.

Miles would argue that his way of 'dealing' was better but that just emphasised the point that Bass once made about Miles being wired differently.

"I'm fine Rachel, do worry about me" he told her with absolute certainty, then added

"and Bass…I'll look after him"

* * *

Bass and Miles had been posted to South Carolina, they had been there a couple of months and were settled into their new routine.

Walking across the courtyard together, Miles' phone rang, he recognised the caller, it was Rachel.

"Hey" Miles answered with a flirty lilt and Bass rolled his eyes thinking it was just some random girl and left him alone to his phone call.

He pictured Rachel while on the phone. The way she had looked that day in her apartment. Although that wasn't the only time they had hooked up on his last visit home, not by a long shot. They'd had some fairly personal phone conversations since then too and for a minute he thought that's why she had called.

"We need to talk, when are you next off duty?" Rachel asked, none of the usual friendly, playful banter in her tone. It clearly wasn't good news.

"What do you mean, where are you, Rachel?" he asked

"I'm in Virginia, at a conference. I really need to speak to you, It's important" she replied.

"I'm off tomorrow afternoon but back on duty the morning after, I can't be driving all the way to Virginia if that's what you're thinking" he said.

Rachel reiterated the importance of seeing him and agreed she would meet him somewhere half way. It still meant a good 3 hour drive upstate but her tone worried him so he agreed.

* * *

It was going on towards 9pm when Miles finally found Rachel sat in the busy bar. He had pushed through crowds to find her sat at a high table, some fancy drink in her hand that looked like it had leaves in it. Something that was not really familiar to Miles but he also noticed a bottle of beer on the table as he approached. The drive into the city had been long following a double shift on the base and he felt exhausted as he greeted her.

Rachel forced a quick smile that disappeared as he sat opposite her. She wore a grey shift dress that made her look older than her years and her hair up in a high pony tail. It was clear she had driven down straight from work too.

Miles took a sip from the beer and waited for her to speak. He'd had three hours on the drive to think about want she wanted to see him about and had a good idea how this was going to go down.

The silenced remained for a while longer, meaning he had to listen to a rather raucous post-work party going on across the bar. Their loud voices and even louder laughs starting grating on his nerves. He watched as Rachel took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes for the first time since he'd arrived.

"We can't do this anymore, it has to stop". she said then waited for his initial reaction.

Miles just nodded slowly, this was pretty much word for word what he had expected.

"Ben's asked me to marry him" she quietly added. That Miles hadn't predicted.

Miles felt his stomach drop. He tried to tell himself that this wasn't such a shock. The two had been together for years. Ben loved her, they lived together and worked together, he was actually surprised that it hadn't happened sooner.

Rachel didn't speak again but she followed his eyes as they flitted all around, everywhere but on her.

He wasn't taking the news well, mostly because he couldn't understand _why_ he wasn't taking the news well. He always knew he would never end up with Rachel, so why was he so upset.

Standing up suddenly, he considered leaving the bar, but a surge of anger overtook him and he punched-out at a wall partition to his left. The thing remained intact but gave out a hollow boom that silenced the groups of suits who had all turned to see him.

"What?" he yelled over to the staring faces almost beckoning them to come and challenge his actions.

One that did was security. A burly looking man seemed to appear in front of him matching Miles in height but twice as wide.

"You gonna calm down or am I throwing you out?" the guy said.

Any normal person would have taken stock at this point, realising the scene they were making and then take a step back, but this was Miles Matheson.

Rachel could see from his eyes and the way he was squaring off against the muscled man that he was looking to cause trouble. Hadn't Bass once mentioned that he often had to stop Miles start fights he can't win.

She placed her hand on his arm and quietly asked him to sit back down. It took a few attempts but he finally started to take notice. There had always been something in the way she said his name that went straight to his heart. Turning to face her he gave in and backed away from the doorman, slowly sitting back down.

"Sorry" was all he could manage to say.

What else _could_ he say. She deserved to be with Ben, he was the better guy. Miles didn't really have much to offer her, he could barely look after himself. He had no real savings, he lived on an Marine Base so had no home, he drank too much and couldn't keep out of trouble.

"I'm happy for you Rachel…and you are right, this between us needs to stop" He left it there, quickly taking a big sip of beer before saying something he would regret.

Rachel leaned forward and lightly kissed him on the lips, that spark between them was still there, she pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes, it was easy to read that they said, they begged for one last moment together, her strong will disintegrated and she kissed him again.

Taking hold of her hand Miles guided Rachel out of the bar and through the streets of the city looking for a hotel. It didn't take long before they were in a room together.

This would be the last night he would ever spend with Rachel and Miles was determined that he would make it slow, he wanted to remember every feel of her because the memories needed to last for rest of his life. He kissed her and could taste that fancy drink on her lips, all sweet and minty. The embrace was deep, slow and filled with everything he could never say to her.

Rachel's body couldn't help but react to his touch, she pulled him towards the bed and felt her dress fall down her shoulders. Miles leaned over her as she led on the mattress in only her underwear. His lips slowly moved from her mouth, down over her neck and continued further south. She felt the cold metal of his dog tags brush over her chest as he slowly removed her remaining clothes on his journey across her body.

She took a deep intake of breath once he reached below her stomach and Miles heard his name oh-so sweetly said on the exhale. He smiled at the sound and continued his attention.

Some time in the hours that followed they had both fallen asleep, a beep from his phone woke him and he found Rachel's warm body wrapped tightly around him, still asleep. He chose that moment to whisper what he'd been too scared to say.

The words 'I love you' were barely audible but were said none the less.

He gently woke Rachel after seeing the time, it was still very early but if they both wanted to make it back for work they needed to leave soon.

He walked Rachel to her car and hugged her goodbye, there was no kiss, it was a new day and the new rules applied.

Then just like the first time they met, he watched her get into a car and drive away.

On the drive back to Virginia Rachel's thoughts were still conflicted.

Marrying Ben was the right thing to do. Rachel liked plans and rules and she would have that with Ben. He loved her, he was brilliant, he had a good job. They could be settled and comfortable in their life together.

Miles on the other hand made her see fireworks every time they were together but everyone knew that kind of thing didn't last forever and what would they be left with. He wouldn't stop being a Marine and she couldn't be a Marines wife, spending half her life wondering where he was and if he was safe.

Ben was a straight forward, good guy, he was the '_what you see is what you get__' _kind of man, while Miles had a darkness in him that scared her a little.

Her decision was made, She would Marry Ben and put this chapter of her live firmly behind her.

Rachel wiped a tear from her eye, put her foot on the gas and drove out of the city. Glancing into the rear view mirror she watched the skyline disappear along with the city's 'Welcome' sign.

It was over, she had left Miles and their night in the City of Charlotte, NC behind forever.


	10. To the future

Final Chapter - Just to wrap it all up into a neat little bow. Thanks ever so much for the comments etc, and always ready for more. They make my day.

* * *

**One month after the tower**

"Rachel!…"

"Rach!…."

"Hey Rachel!"

She felt something hit her leg and it brought her back to the present.

Rachel was still standing in that run down house, thick with damp and smelling of musty books. There was a paperback at her feet that had hit her gently. Following it's projectile path she saw Miles still crouched on the floor, surrounded by the piles of books. His brow, furrowed and full of concern over Rachel's sudden departure into her own mind.

"You ok?" he asked watching her slowly rejoin the real world.

"Yeah, I'm fine" she replied, secretly trying to decide if that was actually true.

Rachel had managed to frighten herself at just how deeply she had retreated into her own thoughts. She wondered how long Miles had called her name before she had heard.

Those memories of her time with Miles along with other recollections of Ben and the kids had helped her through her imprisoned years in Philadelphia.

Philly hadn't always been civilised with lavish rooms and books to read. Most of the time it had been life in a cold, bare cell. At night, with no electricity the dark seem to be impenetrable and she used her memories to combat her fears and dark thoughts.

She had also called upon those recollections, when Miles had been at his worst, so she could remember that 'General Matheson' was not the man who she had left her heart with all those years ago.

It must have been her favourite book that was still pressed against her chest that had set her off thinking about the past. About those times they spent together back in Jasper and the one perfect night in Charlotte. That had been the night he had told her he loved her, Rachel had heard him even though Miles thought she was asleep.

It was a little less than 2 months after that night in North Carolina when Rachel found out she was pregnant. That's when those few doubts she still had in marrying Ben ended. All those selfish reasons Rachel had given herself for not being with Miles suddenly became very relevant. She had a child to think about and Ben was the best choice for a stable life.

As Rachel stood in the room thinking about all these things Miles had gotten up from the dusty floor and stood in front of her.

"I'm glad you chose Charlotte" he suddenly announced

"What?" Rachel said wondering if she had been thinking out loud about their time together.

"I'm glad you named Charlie 'Charlotte' It suits her" he replied

The colour seemed to drain from Rachel's face almost instantly and she struggled to keep her breathing regulated

"W…What do you mean?" she whispered _Did he think?…. Did he know?…_

Miles touched the book in her arms, his finger lightly brushing over the author's name 'Charlotte Bronte' he looked at her quizzically as he spoke taking in her sudden ashen complexion.

"It's suits Charlie better than Jane" he answered referring to the title of the book, Jane Eyre.

Rachel seem to give a laugh of relief, he had assumed she named Charlie after her favourite book. The sudden panic the conversation had caused, reacted with her tiredness and lack of decent food. Rachel took in some slow deep breaths but it was too late. A slow ringing grew steadily louder in her ears and her vision gradually faded to black leaving her to collapse into Miles' open arms.

* * *

She wasn't out for long, Miles had dispensed a slap that brought her round and now he had her sat on the dusty floor, legs open, her head pushed down between her knees. His hand palmed the top on her head stopping her from lifting it too high. Aaron was there as well, he'd coming running after hearing loud thumps on the kitchen ceiling. He knelt by her side talking nonsense as usual, just trying to keep Rachel from passing out again.

God, Miles wished Nora was there, he needed someone to talk to, someone to help him figure out what to do next. Aaron was a good guy, he had kind of grown on Miles these past few months , especially after discovering that he had helped Rachel when she had a broken leg, but he wasn't the kind of guy to help come up with a survival plan.

Nora would be able to help him work out which direction they should go, how to find decent food without finding a whole load of trouble to go with it. He could picture her sat across from him discussing strategic plans, she would play devil's advocate, helping discover any flaws that needed addressing and generally annoy the hell out of him while she did it.

He could see her big dark eyes and those lips he loved to kiss. The pang of loss came over him again as he sat next to Rachel, hand still resting on her head. Would there ever be a time when all this pain stopped? He wondered.

Miles let Rachel slowly sit back up, she was still pale but better than she had looked a few minutes earlier. He asked Aaron to help her down stairs to the kitchen, it was time they moved on and there were a few things from the book room he needed to bring with him.

He sat alone for a few minutes staring at the piles of books and thinking about how he felt about Rachel. There was a deep love between them, but he had accepted long ago that they would never be together. Too much had happened, not least the treatment he subjected her to in Philly. Even if a time came when she could forgive him for what he did, he doubted he could ever forgive himself. And with everything that had that happened to them in the past, he was sure that the future would hold even more crap to drive them apart.

Time was ticking whilst Miles took the minute to feel sorry for himself and he eventually dragged his sorry ass off the ground and searched for what he'd come for.

* * *

"Is that all we could find?" Rachel asked Aaron. disappointedly looking at the small stash of household objects in the centre of the kitchen table.

"This house is on its own out in the open, Rachel, it's probably been ransacked 100 times over, I think we're lucky to find this" he answered pointing at the set of cutlery and a 50-year-old map book of the surrounding area.

It was a sorry state but Rachel shouldn't complain because all she had brought to the table was her copy of Jane Eyre.

Miles walked in at that point and placed three bottles of dark liquid on the table followed by a gun. Aaron looked up at him in disbelief at finding a proper weapon along with his favourite consumable item, in the 'barely standing' shell of a house.

"You just gotta know where to look" Miles said sitting at the table across from Rachel.

"Jeez, you're like one of those airport sniffer dogs the way you can manage to find alcohol" Aaron declared

Rachel watched as Miles took one of the bottles from the table he pulled out the stopper, moving it towards his mouth.

"You aren't seriously going to drink that are you?" Rachel called over at him. looking at the dusty bottles with ancient brown liquid that slopped around inside of them.

"You got a better way of working out what it is?" he replied.

"How about we just don't bother and leave it here where we found it" she begged but Miles just smiled and put the bottle to his lips.

"See it's fine" he crackled, the homemade Hooch seemingly burning away his ability to speak.

Rachel watched as he laughed at the sound of his own voice and passed the bottle on to Aaron who took it from him warily.

Aaron took a swig and nearly coughed his guts up causing Miles to laugh even more. It was a strange sight to see, Miles all teeth and laughter lines, it made him younger somehow. The smile was catching and against her will Rachel found a grin had reached her face too.

She took hold of the bottle from Aaron and attempted to take a sip herself.

"Whoa, I don't think that is such a good idea" he called across the table still concerned over her recent blackout.

"I'm fine, Miles" she stubbornly replied and threw back the liquid.

Rachel felt the burn all the way to her toes, and decided it hadn't been such a good idea to follow in the footsteps of the seasoned drinker and the fool.

She saw a sly smile cross Miles' lips and watched as his eyes said '_I told you so'_. Rachel hated it when he was right.

Aaron took the bottle back from Rachel for another swig and received a respectful nod from Miles.

"Aaron, I think I may have found my new drinking partner" Miles told him, laying a friendly hand on his shoulder. The compliment started Aaron off on one of his rambling stories and Miles took the opportunity to study the gun while he listened to Aaron's tale.

"You know this reminds me of a time when I was 21, Me and Andrew Adams were so drunk we…" Aaron began while the others half listened

Rachel watched Miles pick up the gun and snapped open the cylinder. It was a pretty old six-shooter with just two bullets in the chamber but it looked in fairly good condition. He had found it along with the liquor stashed behind one of the piles of books. It had been well hidden and had taken a fair bit of effort to get them out.

Her eyes stayed on Miles as he worked the revolver over, peering down the barrel and blowing away the gathering dust. Another memory suddenly filled Rachel's head, she didn't know why, maybe it was the way he held his head just then or the little nervous lick of his lips but she found herself humming a tune, a song she hadn't thought about in over 15 years.

Miles froze with the gun still in his hand, Rachel hadn't realised till that moment she had hummed the tune out loud.

"….and just like in that movie, they tied it to a piece of string with a brick on the end…." Aaron was still deep in his story, unaware his two friends reliving their own story across the table.

Two years before the blackout they had all returned to Jasper for the Monroe funeral. A heartbreaking affair for everyone involved. Bass was a mess, understandably so. And after an impossible endless day the pair of best friends had ended up in Harv's . Some ridiculous time of the night, Rachel received a call from Miles pleading for someone to help him bring Bass home.

Rachel had turned up at the bar to see poor Bass passed out, face down on the table where she had once sat. Miles sat next to him, close to being the same state. The juke box played in the corner, it was rare that music played in the bar and when it did it was never of the upbeat variety, this moment was no different. The melancholy tones of Nick Cave echoed through the speakers, slow and quiet.

"Come on then let's get you both home" Rachel sighed, the sight of them both hurting her heart to watch. Miles had stood up and swayed for a moment.

"Dance with me?" he requested.

Rachel shook her head and refused, an offer like that, given their history could not lead anywhere good. He begged then, and the look on his face was something Rachel could not decline.

The song wasn't really made for dancing which was good because Miles could barely stand up, they kind of just swayed slowly across the floor, he leaned his head on to her shoulder and it wasn't until she felt damp seeping though her blouse that she realised his was crying.

Miles had stayed strong for his best friend and for a time Rachel forgot that the Monroe's had treated _him_ like a son too. Miles had also lost part of his family then and to top it off he had no idea how he was going to get Bass through it all.

They had stayed like that for a while holding each other close, Rachel felt him shake as he continued to cry silently into her shoulder, it was so hard to take and by the end Rachel couldn't help her own tears from falling.

Aaron's voice brought her back from the memory in time to see the effects of the tune she had hummed. Miles was staring off into the distance, his eyes brimming with tears. The memory still as painful as all those years ago.

All Rachel had done since arriving at that house was cause Miles pain, she stopped him from drinking and made him think about Harv's all those years ago when he was clearly trying to mourn Nora. To top it off she had just reminded him about one of the most painful times in his life.

She felt terrible looking at what she had reduced Miles to. Rachel wished she could just walk around the table and comfort him like she had that night with the Nick Cave song. Miles quickly got a handle on his emotions in time for Aaron to finish his story.

"….and we would have all been kicked out if he hadn't slept one of the science professors" Aaron finished by laughing at his own story.

Miles carefully packed away the bottles and the other junk on the table. It was time to leave and journey on into the unknown. There was so many unanswered questions that needed dealing with. Why Randal had done what he had done back at the tower?, Did Bass manage to escape his own men?, When would they see Charlie again? And what had become of Philly and Atlanta?

Rachel had no idea how they would go about answering any of these and she knew a whole new load of problems would be waiting for them on the journey. They all had their own secrets which if revealed could cause serious conflicts among them.

Standing from the table, Miles holstered the revolver within his jacket and grabbed his pack. He helped Rachel to her feet and kissed the top of her head. The gesture made her heart skip a beat and reminded her that even after everything that had happened she was glad he was still with them.

Standing by the door Miles gave one last look around the house and then called over to Aaron

"Come on chuckles, lets go and see what pile of crap awaits us round the next corner".


End file.
